To Protect You
by Rinsom Lost
Summary: Alfred had been there for as long as Lovino could remember, a guardian being of some sort, protecting him. But the lengths to which Alfred goes might be too far. Mix of supernatural/horror, and also the romance is probably rather understated in this fic.


Lovino was five the first time he saw him.

The accident had taken his parents, but had barely touched his little brother and himself.

He remembered the way everything was too quiet for just a minute after the crunch of the impact. The way his parents were too still, when they should have been turning around to check on them. How they didn't move or say anything when he yelled at them to wake up. The way his little brother had started crying and crying and wouldn't stop.

The way the dark branches of the forest loomed over them.

And the smell of gasoline and the heat rising from the front of the car.

Then he was lifted out of the car and held close, carried some distance away in warm gentle arms, a soothing voice floating down from above him. He could hear the smile before he ever saw the man's face.

Some time later, when the police arrived, they had found Lovino and Feliciano sitting by themselves, playing with a wooden toy.

Years later, Lovino got up the nerve to ask Feliciano about that night. About the man that had saved them.

Feliciano lit up in that weird, sort of ditzy way of his, and started rambling about 'the angel', the blond man who's voice had been so soft, his presence almost whispy. The way he had cooled the burn on his knee with the touch of his hand.

"But he didn't seem anything like that," Lovino argued, remembering the solid, lively presence which had distracted him with the small carved rabbit that now stood guard over his room. The way the light from the fire had danced off his glasses, leaving Lovino both entranced and unsettled.

"Besides," he continued, shaking off the memory, "he was just some guy. And a jerky one to leave two kids sitting on the side of the road alone."

When Feliciano looked back at him his eyes were filled with a strange knowledge he'd never known his brother to have, as if the two of them had been confronted by the obvious and Lovino alone was blind. After a moment Feliciano just shrugged, smiling, and went back to his watercolors.

* * *

><p>It was over a year before Lovino saw him again.<p>

He was playing soccer in his grandpa's front yard with a bunch of neighborhood kids and the ball rolled out into the road. Like an idiot he ran after it.

The car was just a few feet away when he saw it.

Then he felt arms around him and he was in the yard again, the ball being kicked around by the other kids. No one seemed to think anything was wrong. Lovino turned around just in time to see the car that had nearly hit him drive by. He followed it with his eyes, uncomprehending. Then he looked beyond the road to see a blond man standing under a tree.

Lovino's breath caught in his throat.

Glasses, blonde hair, and that weird piece of hair sticking up in the front. The man waved, grinning, then put his finger up to his lips in a shushing gesture.

And then he was gone.

Just vanished.

Lovino stared at the place until someone yelled at him to kick the ball already. He turned around, yelling back with choice words, but his mind was still on the blond man that had just saved him a second time.

* * *

><p>Once he'd mostly gotten over the shock of nearly dying a second time curiosity won out over self preservation.<p>

He found himself standing in front of an outlet with a fork.

He stared at it with sweaty palms for a good five minutes before he whispered a strained, "you'd better come," squeezed his eyes shut, and stuck the fork forward.

He felt both the shock and the hand on his shoulder at the same time. The fork dropped from his still tingling hand and he turned around to see the man kneeling behind him. The look he'd received had been worse than the shock.

He hadn't tried anything like that again.

He hadn't really needed to though. What was initially just a possibility in his mind was a certainty.

From then on he knew. The spring when he was nine and a tree had almost took out the house, all those times he tripped holding a pair or scissors or a knife or some equally sharp.

When his grandpa died right before he went into middle school

He knew someone was always there protecting him.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Vargas. Get your ass in gear."<p>

"I'm coming, okay?" Lovino growled, slapping a branch out of his face. Fucking trees. Fucking forest. Fucking summer camp from hell. If he ever found out who came up with the idea to send the "problematic one" to volunteer at camp he'd shoot them.

He picked up his pace, determined not to be left behind. That would be just like Dan, too. Bring him out into the woods just to ditch him.

Lovino shivered, despite his jacket.

Thankfully he didn't have far to walk. The flashlight had stopped just a few feet away.

"So here we are," Dan said, stepping aside to let Lovino through. "Nice view, huh?"

Lovino nodded, gazing out from their perch above the lake. The wind, too cool for summer, blew across his face. "Thought we weren't suppose to be up here."

"Come on. Don't tell me you go for all the rules and regulations and shit. That's just stuff so we can keep the campers in line."

Lovino crossed his arms. "No," he said, despite thinking this particular rule probably existed for a reason. "But I mean this isn't like bringing in outside food or junk. We're right across from the fucking cabins. I can see Ludwig's stupid list of rules from here."

"It's three in the morning." Dan looked at him with disgust. "You're not backing out now."

"Yeah, yeah. Okay. So what- I have to wait a few minutes and then walk back from here or something or-"

"Or something," Dan smiled at him, "You swim, right?"

He didn't even have time to think before a hand pushed against his back, sending him over the rock facing. His mind blanked as he fell, watching the water come closer and closer.

'Like the car,' he thought.

But there were no arms this time.

And when he hit he knew there was something wrong. He felt it as he sank into the lake.

And then all was black.

* * *

><p>He came to lying on the ground, wet, shuddering, and coughing. He sucked in air, fighting against the water in his lungs. When he finally managed to open his eyes he saw the blond man leaning over him, his face stricken with horror.<p>

"Where the fuck were you?" Lovino coughed.

The man's face fell even further, he stared down at his hands, looking about ready to burst into tears.

"Hey," Lovino coughed again, "Hey it's-" He breathed in as well as he could. "It's okay. I'm okay."

"I'm sorry," the man said, sounding about as wrecked as Lovino felt.

"Hey," Lovino said. "If I tell you I'm fine, I'm fine. Okay, bastard?"

Lovino's eyes widened and his hand flew to his mouth.

Had he cursed at an angel?

He'd just called an angel a bastard.

How the hell was he going to deal with that in confession?

The man suddenly laughed, as if he heard Lovino's thoughts. Maybe he did.

Lovino panicked. "Hey, you. Keep out of my head alright? I already don't get enough privacy, without some angel or whatever you are, poking around in my brain."

The blond just continued to laugh, clutching his stomach now, tears coming out of his eyes.

"Shut up," Lovino said, as loud as his still rough voice could manage. "At least give me your name or something."

Lovino's request pulled the man back to reality. He froze, his laughter stopping with his cheeks still wet with tears. He sat there for a moment, face full of indecision, before looking up at Lovino.

"Alfred."

And suddenly Lovino was alone beside the lake.

"Stop fucking doing that already, will ya?"

* * *

><p>Something changed after that night.<p>

He didn't realize it until a few weeks later, when he saw Alfred watching him from across the street. Lovino tensed, looking around for any possible threats. He stayed paranoid for the rest of the day.

That happened another three times over the next week until finally, temper ready to blow, he stormed over to Alfred after seeing him whittling on a park bench.

"What are you doing here, bastard?" Lovino asked, glaring down at him. "I'm not about to get mauled by a dog or something, am I?"

Alfred jumped, staring at him, eyes with shock.

"What?" Lovino snapped.

"You can see me?" Alfred asked. Then his grin grew. It was almost blinding. "You can see me!" He jumped up from the bench and caught him up in a hug.

"I could see you before," Lovino said. With his face squished against Alfred's shoulder it came out a little muffled.

"No!" Alfred laughed, and did a little dance of joy with Lovino still pressed against him. "You can _see_ me."

Lovino began to wonder if walking up to Alfred that day had been a mistake.

* * *

><p>Alfred quickly became a fixture. Well, he had already been a fixture, Lovino quickly realized after Alfred had walked right into his room one day without notice. He'd just never seen him before.<p>

"Well it's not like I could knock or anything," Alfred shrugged, after swallowing a bite of french fries. "I mean I could have, but that would have been kinda creepy. Ya know?"

"More creepy than you hanging out in here without me knowing?" Lovino grumbled.

"Dude, I gave you privacy and junk. But I gotta do my job."

"And what's that?" Lovino asked.

Alfred's smile grew more, if that was possible. "I'm your own personal hero, of course."

"Well do you mind heroing somewhere else for now?" Lovino replied, looking back down at his homework.

"But you're _here_." Alfred sat down beside him. Lovino glared up at him. Alfred just grinned in response, not moving. "Besides, I can help with this, I think. It's science. I like science."

When his science experiment blew up the next week he made Alfred promise never to help him with homework again.

* * *

><p>They continued like that for some time, all through Lovino's remaining couple of years of high school. Alfred popped in and out, harassing Lovino and leaving fast food wrappers everywhere, half the time getting Lovino into trouble of some sort, and the other half doing something to save the day. Eventually Lovino just got used to him again, focusing on his familiar presence, instead of his chatter. In turn, Alfred seemed to settle just a little, after realizing being seen meant he didn't have to be quite so verbal. Evidently, he'd been talking to Lovino like that for years; Lovino just hadn't known<p>

Alfred was still loud, and sometimes annoying, and as excitable as Feliciano, but being around him was comfortable and it didn't take long for Lovino to realize that he liked finding him sitting at his desk when Lovino got home from school, liked hearing his random trivia during movies, liked feeling him plop down beside him on the couch, liked Alfred's side pressed to his.

In fact _preferred_ it.

The realization that he might like, as in _like_ like, his guardian angel was a brick to the face.

If only finding himself falling for a weird, hyperactive, celestial being had been the worst of his problems.

* * *

><p>He hadn't known Alison that well. They'd talked a few times, but she'd been in Feliciano's class. Of course, that small fact also meant that he'd be going to the funeral anyway.<p>

She must have been well liked, because the room was packed. That was the reason he hadn't thought anything of it when he felt someone over his right shoulder halfway through the service. Oh, it was a little weird maybe, since they'd have to be sitting forward pretty far and maybe halfway standing in order to get into that position, but he'd shook it off. It was when he felt the cool air on his neck that he turned around swiftly to glare at whoever had the gall to mess with someone during a damn funeral.

He turned back around, slowly, after silently apologizing to the little old lady behind him, trying to rub out the goosebumps that had broken out on his arms, underneath his button up and jacket.

* * *

><p>"Stupid algebra," Lovino grumbled, staring down at his math book. It wouldn't be so bad if his professor didn't always assign so damn much of it. He'd banished Alfred from his room during homework time, but his help probably would have been a good thing that day.<p>

He almost didn't notice the movement across the room. He'd looked up just in time to catch it out the corner of his eye. Lovino stared at the wall beside his bookshelf for a moment, then went back to his work.

A few minutes later it happened again, out to his left.

"Been working too long," he said out loud, rubbing at his eyes.

The third time it happened he decided maybe he did want Alfred's help after all.

* * *

><p>He hadn't ever heard stories about their apartment being haunted or built on top of an old cemetery or anything. He did some research one day anyway, telling Alfred he had an English paper he had to work on.<p>

The disembodied whispers which followed him from stack to stack had been enough to ensure the library's place on his growing list of locations to avoid.

* * *

><p>It never happened when Alfred was around, he noticed, and stopped trying to dissuade Alfred's impromptu visits, even when he was hanging out with his friends, or his brother.<p>

If Alfred picked up on his nervousness he didn't mention it.

"So what are you?" Lovino asked one day while flipping through the channels, trying to distract himself from the shadows he'd seen an hour ago. The voices that had whispered from the hallway. He paused on an image of Ebenezer scrooge for a moment before turning the channel again, "I mean, I don't see wings. So are you like just a spirit or something like the ghost of Christ-"

"Ghost?" Alfred squeaked, turning around to look at him with wide eyes, "Why would you even say that?"

"What?" Lovino replied, looking up from his math book with a smile that was too tight, "You scared?"

Alfred swallowed visibly. "Course not." He coughed. "A hero's not afraid of anything. It's just…"

"Just what?" Lovino asked, uncertainty edging further into his voice. Despite what he said, Alfred looked afraid, and suddenly dead serious.

"Ghosts are…" Alfred laid his arms across the back of the chair, and rested his chin on them. "They don't feel right. I mean, they're here cause didn't move on, or couldn't move on. And sometimes they get lost. Lose themselves." He shivered, his eyes drawing downwards towards the floor. "What happens afterwards, eventually…" He shook his head as if trying to clear the image. "It's not good."

"So you are scared." Lovino smirked, hoping to tease both him and Alfred out their weird gloom.

Instead Alfred looked up, meeting Romano's eyes.

"Yes."

* * *

><p>It never got any better.<p>

Instead, he started hearing things at night, waking up to whispering outside of his second story window.

The nightmares didn't help either.

Watching from the side of the road, alone, listening to the sound of his brother screaming while the fire overtook the back seat of their parent's car.

Sinking further and further into the lake, tugged downwards by a rotting, decayed version of himself.

Alfred looking up at him, as dark and otherwordly as the creatures in the shadows, smile broken and jagged and full of blood.

Those weren't the worst.

Eventually sleeping became almost impossible and he started nodding off during lectures, or forgetting to turn in assignments, or just missing class altogether.

One night he opened his eyes to see Alfred sitting on the edge of the bed, looking out towards the walls. His eyes looked strange, sharper than normal and haunted. He glanced down, matching Lovino's gaze.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

And Lovino didn't know- he really didn't. All he knew was that he was tired and Alfred was there. So he rolled over towards him and closed his eyes.

* * *

><p>Alfred was always a touch focused being, but afterwards the casual touches got a lot more frequent. It wasn't that strange to suddenly feel Alfred's arms wrapping around him, no matter if there was any sort of threat or not. Despite his complaints Lovino never really minded.<p>

But from that point on Alfred smiled a lot less too. Lovino could tell Alfred was trying, but he could tell it wasn't the real thing. It was just something Alfred used to cover up the weight he seemed to be carrying now. Lovino didn't have to ask what was wrong. It was obvious.

_It's you_

It was him.

Always him.

_Always you._

He was always the one that caused the trouble.

"Are you alight?" Feliciano asked one morning.

Lovino looked up from his breakfast to see his brother's eyes full of worry.

_So sweet, so sweet_

He glared down at his toast again. "I'm fine."

"No," Feliciano said, "You're not. You never smile anymore and-"

"It's nothing, okay."

"Has someone hurt you?"

_Hurt. So pretty to hurt._

A transluscent hand fell slowly towards his brother's hair.

"Stop!"

"I just want to hel-"

"Well maybe I don't need any help, okay? Maybe I'm getting tired of everyone's help," he yelled, shoving himself away from the table and sending the chair clattering as he fled the room.

* * *

><p>Alfred had taken to sitting sentry on the foot of his bed, whispering unknown words rhythmically through the night. It helped for a while, but then one night he woke up to the voices again, competing with Alfred's cadence.<p>

"He's not one of you. He's not yours," Lovino heard him growl, finally.

They laughed, in their creepy, tinny voices, and Lovino could see them moving forward towards the bed, their hands long and stretching.

And then suddenly Alfred stood, turning around the room and yelling, "You can't have him. You hear me? He's-" His eyes met Lovino's for a moment, and they were full of ache. Then he turned away, looking downwards. His entire body was tight, vibrating. "I won't let you have him!" Alfred yelled suddenly and his voice echoed through the room like an explosion.

The room was silent and Alfred, shaking visibly, sat, with a thump, on the ground. His shoulders hung weakly in exhaustion.

Lovino closed his eyes against the dark still lurking beyond Alfred's thinning wall of protection.

* * *

><p>The world felt darker somehow.<p>

They were everywhere at this point, even with Alfred's constant vigil. He stopped getting out of bed, except to use the bathroom and to prove to his brother he wasn't starving to death.

It was there, sometime later, that he opened his eyes to see Alfred staring down at him, expression pained, hand just an inch or so away from his chest.

"Al?" he asked.

Alfred's expression cleared, turning into that same fake smile he'd been wearing for months. He pulled his hand away, using it instead to pull Lovino's blanket up higher. "You sleeping okay, Lovi?"

Lovino closed his eyes again. "It's all I ever do. I might as well be dead."

Alfred froze, Lovino could feel it. Then he sighed, moving again, "You don't mean that."

"Don't I? What do you know, bastard?" Lovino asked.

Alfred dropped his hand down onto Lovino's head, stroking gently. "More than you'd think. Is that really what you want?"

Lovino just looked up at him with tired eyes and pushed his face into the pillow. "Who even asks that?"

Alfred's hand paused, then started stroking again, pulling his fingers gently through and rubbing Lovino's scalp. "Go to sleep, Lovi."

Suddenly he started feeling tired, utterly drained. "What are you…?" Lovino trailed off, lacking the energy to think, to breath.

"What I should have done a long time ago."

* * *

><p>The forest stretched out in front of him, dark and looming. He felt himself moving forward anyway, despite fear that should have left him frozen.<p>

The shadows, so familiar to him now, crept around the corners of his eyes.

_Come with us_

_You deser-_

"Lovi," he heard Alfred call from somewhere in the woods. Motion, just a little ahead. A familiar leather jacket.

But he felt so tired. He had stopped and didn't know if he could ever move again. He looked down, to see arms coming up from the ground like vines, wrapping around his legs.

"Come on Lovi," and Alfred laughed, gentle and warm like before.

He took a step towards that laughter and felt the arms give way.

"Hey," he yelled, "What did you- Why did you lead me out here, bastard?"

Alfred laughed again in response. He could see him flitting through the trees up ahead.

He followed, pushing away the branches which snatched at him.

"Come on Lovi, just a little further," he heard Alfred say in the distance. But another, familiar, voice yelled behind him

He looked back, towards the other voice, but everything looked different now, darker. Nothing looked right. A chill arched through him.

"This way," he heard a familiar feminine voice say."This way," it came again from another direction, another voice. He spun in a circle, feeling the dark creep up on him again. They all started laughing, mocking, their voices shifting.

"Don't stop," Alfred said, suddenly in front of him, hand reaching out. Lovino reached back, but Alfred moved away just a little, hand still beckoning Lovino on. "You've got to come on your own. Come on. You're so close."

He started again, haltingly when he heard the voice again, this time recognizing it. "Grandpa?" he asked, turning around.

"Lovi, don't listen," Alfred said behind him, pleading. "That's not him.

It took a moment to see the hands coming in slowly towards his, but then he heard the high, tinny laughter again, creeping in the forest and he jerked his hand away.

When he turned back around, away from the shadows, Alfred's face brightened. "Come on," he said, with a laugh, and leaped up and back, gliding off the ground a few feet.

"Hey!" Lovino shouted, "If you want me to follow, quit jumping around." He didn't really didn't mind though. Alfred was smiling. Really smiling. Like the sun coming back after a storm. Lovino thought he'd do anything to follow that smile, even if it meant having to fly himself.

He started off again through the woods, following Alfred as well as he could through the branches and the shadows and the voices which were suddenly so much easier to fight.

Then suddenly he broke through the trees into a clearing, green and lit, compared to the rest of the forest. And there on a fallen tree sat Alfred, holding something. "Are you ready?" Alfred asked, holding up a wooden object. It looked similar to the one he'd been given years ago.

No, Lovino realized suddenly. It was the same one. He could see the odd notch in the rabbit's left ear. He stepped forwards toward Alfred. "For what? I don't even know-" and then he realized, somewhere underneath everything, that he wasn't breathing.

Hadn't been breathing.

He looked up at Alfred, questioning and accusing, all without the words that normally came so readily.

Alfred, for his part, just smiled, softly, holding the rabbit out again. "I goofed, ya see. A long time ago."

"Yeah, big surprise there. What are you rambling about?" Lovino grumbled, just a little distracted by the fact that he _could_ breath, that he just didn't _need_ to.

"I didn't take you," Alfred replied, lowly.

"What's that suppose to mean?" He stepped further towards Alfred, uncertain if he wanted to hit the man or hug him. Because he already felt lighter; the voices weren't hanging over his shoulders anymore.

Alfred stood up then, meeting him halfway, and grabbed Lovino's hand. Lovino nearly jerked it away, but held still and let Alfred raise their hands to his chest, above his no longer beating heart.

"I didn't take you," Alfred said, pushing a little at his chest, as if that was suppose to explain everything. "I was suppose to, that night at the camp. That was your time, but I-"

A horrifying realization spread through Lovino. "I'm- You just-"

Alfred let go of his hand and stepped away. "I should have known better, but…" Alfred glanced away, looking pained. "I'd only looked after you for a few years, and you'd had a tough time of it and you'd actually seen me a few times- that almost _never_ happens- and nothing seemed fair and-" He shrugged, looking back at Lovino, "I gave you a little longer."

"But then things got messed up and I had no idea they'd come after you, I really didn't. And I was only trying to keep you safe and happy but everything fell apart and it's all my fault." He looked down at the ground, obviously avoiding Lovino's face. "You got hurt anyway, and it's my fault."

Lovino's mouth hung open. There were too many questions. Too many emotions. He wanted to punch Alfred in the face, but somehow he couldn't, because as fucked up as everything was he didn't know what he would have changed himself. Maybe avoiding funeral homes, and graveyards, and- "What are you?" he asked suddenly then, without waiting, answered himself, "You know what? That doesn't matter. You're a jerk. You're a damn jerk, you bastard. Every think maybe all that would've been good to tell me? Huh?

"I didn't want to scare you."

"Yeah, that worked out so well didn't it?"

"I didn't want you afraid of _me_!" Alfred stared into his eyes, silently pleading.

Lovino looked off to the side, at the ground, at the fallen tree, at anything but Alfred.

The silence of the clearing overtook them for a moment, uncomfortable stillness wrapping around them. Lovino wanted to breath just to make a sound. He walked over to the fallen log instead, kicking it. "So now what, I'm just suppose to cross over. Have a happy afterlife?" Lovino ventured a glance up.

Alfred looked antsy, suddenly drawing into himself. "I…That's how it's suppose to go. You want to see your parents, right? And your grandfather? "

Lovino nodded.

"The hard part's already done," Alfred motioned past him towards the dark forest beyond. He smiled, softly. "You're gonna be fine."

And that was it. It finally hit him, what this suddenly felt like. Alfred's words, his suddenly closed off posture… everything felt like a goodbye.

"That's not-" Lovino started, his fists tightening against his sides, his anger suddenly rushing back to him.

"And your brother's going to be fine, too." Alfred continued on, oblivious to it all. "Mine's… Matthew… he's been assigned to him. And you can still see him, though it's sometimes a bit of work."

"But will I see you?" It was blurt out suddenly, before he'd even consciously thought it.

Alfred looked up slowly, cautiously. "If you want," he began, examining Lovino's face for a moment before allowing a smile, just a little one. "I'll be around. Someone's gotta show you the ropes after all. I mean someone else can do it if you-" he cut himself off, then started again. "They'll probably want to ground me for a bit anyway for not following orders so…"

"No," Lovino said, then shook his head. "I mean yes. I mean- If I'm gonna have to get used to a place and all it might as well be someone I know."

Then suddenly Alfred was grinning again, and Lovino felt a little bit of warmth grow inside him.

"Great," Alfred laughed, and held out the rabbit again.

Lovino looked at it for a moment, suspiciously. "So what? Was this thing some sort of pact, or something? I don't take it I don't get to go or something?"

"What? No," Alfred laughed, and yeah, Lovino might like hearing that for eternity. "But I mean, I made it for you, I thought you might like-"

With a sigh, Lovino took the rabbit, caution thrown aside, "Okay. You happy now?"

Alfred smiled, warmly, and nodded.

Lovino looked down at the familiar figure, stroking up and down its ear. He'd never admit it, but taking it he already felt a little lighter.

"Come on," Alfred laughed, and took his hand, starting towards an opening in the trees. "I've got so much to show you!"

"Slow down," he yelled, without really meaning it, feeling something bubble up from within him.

The forest brightened around them, echoing with their laughter as they ran down the lit path.


End file.
